The most helpful, but also annoying, rule that all staff members of The Green Pride must abide by is the limit of editorials on our website. Each year, every staff member is allowed to write one opinion story per semester, for a grand total of two first person articles. I always thought of opinion stories being sacred, only using them when the time is right (or when a story I haven’t started is due the next day). This is my last chance to use my semester get-out-of-interviewing-and-writing-a-story card, so I am going to use it wisely and give you my opinion on everything. Well, not everything, because that would be impossible, but here is everything I’ve always wanted to write an opinion story on but never could.
The best thing to do during quarantine is to watch bad movies and make fun of them (everyone needs to have suffered through Jack and Jill at least once in their lives). My most intense board game is Clue and the most boring is LIFE (the American Dream is too strived upon in my opinion). The prettiest tree is a weeping willow and the prettiest flower is a hydrangea. The most epic animal is a monkey and Spongebob is the best Nickelodeon show of all time. Oatmeal is the best breakfast food, and I think that Mean Girls is overrated.
I think the NBA is overrated and that college basketball is much more fun to watch. I don’t believe in karma, but I wish it were true. I think poetry is tacky. Mac and cheese can only be eaten with a fork, not a spoon, and definitely not a spork. I think cold pizza is far superior to hot pizza, and I believe that the only topping a pizza should have is cheese. Twitter is not a good app and brussel sprouts are tasty. A house thermostat should be set at 68 degrees forever and always. Elon Musk is an American hero. The number three is weird to look at and the coronavirus was created by the government to manage overpopulation.
The best movie genre is comedy. The Kardashians are annoying and baking shows are all the same. Cold is better than warm, whether that be with weather or drinks. Subways that don’t have drive throughs are the worst. Starbucks is overrated and overpriced. Cereal is good for any meal and hot chocolate should be drunk all year round. Amy Schumer’s comedy is not considered comedy, it’s considered bad. Laundry is the best chore until you have to actually fold and put your clothes away. AP Language and Composition wasn’t actually a hard class, it was just a lot of work. Senior year does go by quick.
So, there you have it. My last opinion story, even if you didn’t ask for it (and I know you didn’t ask for it because writing this was my superb decision). And to all of those who may be asking themselves “why is this girl writing about random things,” I only have one answer for you: it’s my last opinion story, and I am using it wisely.