The promposal of the century

Prom is meant to be a fun and interesting outing for the upperclassmen to enjoy themselves without the rest of the student body; recently prom has been criticized for the type of experience it provides.

Prom is one of the most exciting times of the year. Students spend significant sums of money in order to rent a tux or buy a dress, reserve seats at the classiest of restaurants and buy the most beautiful flowers. For pictures, they line up and fake smile at overenthusiastic parents: the picture of youth and beauty. Then, following a delicious and expensive dinner, they go to the dance. There, students subject themselves to loud music in the dark gym, auditorium, or cave of their school’s choosing. Conversation is difficult and unmanageable, and there are few accommodations for students who do not want to dance.

It doesn’t have to be this way. Prom is a rare occasion, and the time and money spent planning necessary to have a good time is incredible, certainly too much to go to the dance and barely talk to a date. Or friends, or anyone, really.

It’s clear we’re missing the point of prom. Grinding, or “dancing,” is a degrading practice that subjects girls to a low standard. As good guys, we shouldn’t let girls do that to themselves, and we certainly shouldn’t perform the act ourselves. Not only that, what is the point of going to prom and spending the money if there isn’t a chance to talk to someone?

One of the worst experiences I had as an attendee to prom this year was when I was trying to introduce my girlfriend (who goes to a different school) to my friends. As I was screaming over the loud music and straining to see them, it occurred to me it would be easier to have a conversation inside a Hollister department store during Black Friday.

Prom is a social function and should be treated as such. It’s a chance for students to talk with friends and do something they do anyway, namely “hang out” and listen to music. It’s supposed to be less relaxed, but still fun. As a guy, I always thought it was ironic I was “dancing” with a girl in the same outfit I one day planned to get married in. Yes, I’ve “danced” too.

Additionally, there is a point to be made that high school is meant to mature students for college, in all areas of the college experience. By hosting prom the way they have been, one could argue that the school is fostering underage drinking, pre-marital sex and the bad decision making that goes on at proms.

I am sure that’s not the goal. So, I will propose a solution.

Hold students to a higher standard. Promote prom as a fun activity that bring the upperclassmen together for a mature experience, not one that brings about the awkward fumbling of repressed teenage hormones. Prom should be about making friends and conversation, not bad decisions.

The lights should be on, the music should be loud enough to be background noise but soft enough to talk over.

Women should be treated like women, and men should treat them like men would. Prom should not be a chance to grind; students can do that on their own time. Grinding ruins the experience for the rest of the student body and lessens the good memories students should create at the dance.

However, I am not saying all dances should be this way. There are different type of social functions, such as homecoming and WPA. There is a time and a place to “dance,” but it shouldn’t be at prom, where only the most mature students are allowed to attend.

Upperclassmen are more mature than students just getting into high school, and they hold themselves to a higher standard than they did freshman year. The school should hold them to the same standard.